


Boss Fight

by chocolatecatcupcakecheese



Series: KakaObi Week 2019 (c4) [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Video Game World, Established Relationship, Humor, Isobu!Rin, Jinchuuriki Nohara Rin, KakaObi Week 2019, Lightning Mage!Kakashi, M/M, Paladin!Rin, Shadowdancer!Obito, Stereotypical Fantasy Armor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 03:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17675693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolatecatcupcakecheese/pseuds/chocolatecatcupcakecheese
Summary: Konoha’s dream dungeon clearing team takes on Madara. Kakashi gets some new armor out of the deal.For KakaObi WeekDay 4:Fantasy|War





	Boss Fight

**Author's Note:**

> I took ‘Fantasy’ and ran with it directly to a happy video game AU. Please enjoy Minato’s team wrecking boss Madara for like the 53rd time. #therapeutic
> 
> I’d like to invite you to listen to my favorite boss music of all time, “[Roller Mobster](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFfybn_W8Ak)” by Carpenter Brut, from the Hacknet OST. It’s Good™.
> 
> On the left you’ll see my hours logged in GW2, NWNEE and Skyrim. On the right you’ll find my shameless love of fantasy armor aesthetic. And below you’ll find my _WIFE_.

“Well, we’re at the boss,” Rin said, opening her Inventory and clicking through it, sorting the loot they’d just received. “You got enough health potions, Obito?”

Obito sighed, searching his own menus. “I may need a few more mana potions.”

“Maa, that’s because you suck at dodging and rely too heavily on {Shadowstep}. Put more points in [Dexterity] and get good.”

Obito grabbed Kakashi by the front of his flashy wizard robes and growled at him. “Say that to my face, Bakashi.”

Kakashi smirked behind his oversized scarf and leaned forward, nose-to-nose with him. “You. Suck. _Obito-kun_. Get good.”

Obito made a noise like an irate cat, but Rin’s armored fist settled heavily on his shoulder. He froze.

“Now, boys,” she said sweetly. “Let’s keep playing nicely, hmm? You can suck whatever you’d like when we’re out of the spawn zone.”

They both blushed horribly red. Obito released Kakashi and folded his arms with affected casualness. Kakashi tugged his scarf higher and turned his face away.

“Kakashi, you have some of your homemade potions, yes?” Rin asked. He nodded. “Give some mana regen to Obito then, and give us each a speed and mana buff. We can do formation _Ichi-Ni-Sanbi_.”

“Oof. Press F for fucking Madara,” Obito murmured.

Kakashi huffed in amusement and passed out the requested potions.

“God, these always taste like stale grass and vinegar,” Obito complained, peering at a bottle of murky red liquid. “Why can’t we use your potions, Rin?”

She smiled, her fingers flying over her menus. “Kakashi’s are more effective. You know that.”

“But yours taste better.”

Rin rolled her eyes. “Mine use honey from the {Forest of Death}, which reduces the healing in favor of adding +5 points to my [Strength]. You’re a rogue, Obito. You need all the healing you can get.”

Kakashi’s arms sneaked around his waist and Obito jumped before relaxing into the touch.

“You’re _squishy_ , Obito,” he teased, poking at his stomach where his long coat lay unbuttoned. “But don’t worry. I’ll protect you.”

Obito huffed and relaxed the rest of the way, going limp and leaning all of his weight against Kakashi. “I can protect myself, bastard.” Kakashi let out a little "Oof," and chuckled.

“Let’s buff up,” Rin said. She crushed a crystal between her teeth. Her eyes lit with a faint golden glow, then faded. Obito poured a vial of poison on his daggers and resheathed them. Kakashi traced a trio of glyphs in the air, then sent them flying at each of them.

They drank their potions together, and Rin opened the doors to the boss room.

“Same old, same old,” Obito muttered, as ghostfires popped into being all along the edges of the massive stone cave. He sighed and spoke the activation phrase. “Hello, Grandfather.”

Madara stood from his massive throne and began his unskippable dialogue, something about “coming back to life,” “misguided children,” and whatever his plans were for the world.

Kakashi laid down lightning glyph traps, and Rin drew her sword, adjusting her shield to lay more comfortably on her arm. Obito gestured sharply when Madara’s speech began winding down.

Kakashi lifted his hands and spoke. “Heartbeat of the skies, celestial beast, crier of divine lamentations. Awaken and devour! {Raijū}!”

Kakashi’s incantation finished the very moment that Madara stopped talking and the plot invulnerability disappeared. The spell summoned a wolf of white and blue lightning which snapped at Madara and took out a sizeable chunk of his health bar. Rin led the charge, taking aggro, her armored body shield-slamming the boss like a battering ram. Obito came in from the side, slicing at Madara’s flank while he was focused on Rin, taking out little chunks of health while she stood in front and whaled on him.

Kakashi called out, and they both leapt back as he called down another massive area spell, filling the space around Madara with ball lightning. Rin chugged a health potion, then charged back in, switching Madara’s aggro before he could counter.

They kept it up until Madara was at half health, then Rin called time.

Kakashi and Obito closed ranks, hiding Rin from view as she began her incantation.

“I invoke you, third son of Hagoromo. Bestow your blessing upon me, your first and highest servant. Grant me your strength that I might lay my enemies to waste.”

Obito danced in, daggers gleaming, and Kakashi rained down spells from behind. They tossed Madara’s aggro between them with the ease of long practice, as Obito attacked and dodged, Kakashi called down devastating lightning spells, and Obito struck again from behind.

“I invite you, lord of the salted sea, to taste the oceans of my enemies’ blood. Reduce them to nothing as the sea does to all things.”

Kakashi laid down a layer of glyphs. Obito leapt in, catching Madara’s aggro, then swirled into Shadow, returning to his previous position and dodging the responding attack. Madara stepped across the glyphs, following him, and they exploded, sending shocks of lightning across him which left him paralyzed.

“—As an offering to you! I release you,” Rin cried, her voice piping high and clear over the cacaphony.

“Now!” Obito roared.

“Ready!” Kakashi responded, his hands tracing glowing blue glyphs in the air.

They split, leaving Rin her opening.

“I̛͇S̮͉̠͠ͅO̦̣̝̳͎̦͙͞͞ͅB̸̪̫͍U̱̜̜͟͡.̛̫̠͙̣̦̲̱͖”

The spark and catch of godly power was breathtaking.

Rin passed between them in a whirl of oppressive magic and the salty smell of the ocean. Kakashi and Obito circled behind her and met up. Obito slid into Kakashi, who caught and steadied him with one angrily sparking hand. The other slammed into the ground before them, raising a barrier of electric blue energy, which formed between them and Rin in the nick of time.

Her ultimate exploded outward, waves of water screaming from the point of impact, roiling with wild magic. Kakashi and Obito watched safely from beneath the sparking dome as the entire boss room was flooded. The second wave of power rolled across them, and Rin’s tiny floating form grew and changed into a massive leviathan with three tails. It roared and snapped at Madara. The water filled with blood, and a massive chunk of his health bar disappeared. The third wave hit, an orb of purple light which grew and then imploded in on itself, sending out a wave of overbearing heat which set the water boiling. Rin’s form shrunk, taking the water with it. She fell back to the ground, human once more, landing right as the last of the water disappeared.

Madara stood before her amid the swiftly cooling steam, a pure white statue made of salt, his health bar depleted entirely.

The [Quest Completed] window popped up in front of each of them, playing the little victory tune.

“Goddamn {First Paladin of Isobu}. Sodom and Gomorrah who?” Obito grumbled, releasing his death grip on Kakashi’s shoulder. Kakashi’s arm slipped from around his waist and he huffed in amusement.

“Maa, aren’t you glad she’s on our side?”

“…Yeah. Especially after seeing that.”

They walked over to her, and Kakashi offered her a health potion. She lifted it in a silent toast and chugged it, replenishing the half of her health that Isobu’s power had taken.

“Thank you for carrying us today, Rin,” Kakashi said, tugging his scarf up, his smile evident in his voice.

She smiled smugly up at him. “It’s no problem. {Mountain’s Graveyard} is always fun.” She swiped open her menu and opened the quest rewards tab. “We got some legendary armor. Something called <Tempest>?” She tapped the info button, and after a moment’s contemplation, swiped the screen to Kakashi. “It’s class-locked for wizard. Look at the stats on that!”

Kakashi’s face lit up. “Ah, very nice. Bonuses to Air and Lightning spells, +1 point of mana regen every three seconds, +10 to [Stamina], 20% damage reduction, and two more [Armor Class] than what I have now.” He looked at Rin, his eyes shining with excitement. “Can this be my share for the mission?”

“Sure thing.” She swiped at the screen, and Kakashi’s inbox dinged. He tapped at his menus and equipped it.

Beside him, Obito made a strangled sound. Kakashi looked at him. Obito was turning slowly redder and redder as his eyes dragged down Kakashi’s body.

Kakashi looked down. “Hmm. Interesting,” he said.

“Are hakama supposed to ride that low?” Rin asked, looking up from her menus to arch an eyebrow at him.

“Where the fuck is your shirt,” Obito asked. Pleaded, really.

“I guess it doesn’t have one,” Kakashi said, tapping at the golden gauntlets with one finger. He lifted the folds of his scarf to examine the golden necklaces draped beneath it. He twisted to look at the twisted golden arm bands, then kicked a leg out to look at the blue embroidery on the white pants.

“Is that paint?” Obito whimpered. “Is that paint slathered all over you?”

Kakashi ran curious fingers over the thin golden lines running in complicated patterns down his chest and back. “I guess it is,” he said, tugging his scarf up.

“I like the little circlet,” Rin said.

Obito groaned. “You gave him a crown, Rin. A crown. He’s going to be insufferable now.”

“Ah? You mean I wasn’t insufferable before?” Kakashi moved toward Obito with a gait that might best be described as a _prowl_. “Maa maa, Obito. Clearly I haven’t been trying hard enough.”

Obito made a strangled sound as Kakashi came to a stop before him. His hands curled and uncurled at his sides.

“Obito?” Kakashi was grinning behind his scarf.

“Yes Kakashi?” Obito’s voice cracked.

“Do you like my new armor?”

“Armor?” Obito hissed. “It doesn’t deserve such a name. That’s not protecting anything.”

Rin made a muffled sound off to the side, almost like a stifled giggle.

They turned to look at her. Her hands were held up in the manner that meant she was taking a screenshot. Or a video. “Don’t mind me, boys! I’m just making a record of this so I can show Anko later.”

“Rin, you’re both fucking lesbians, why do you need a screenshot of Kakashi looking like this?” Obito hissed, stepping in front of Kakashi, bristling angrily.

Rin cackled. “Because it’s funny.”

“No it’s not!”

“It’s actually very funny,” Kakashi said.

Obito made a wordless sound of pure frustration. Kakashi laughed softly and tugged him in. “We beat Madara, Obito. Shouldn’t we celebrate?”

Obito hooked his fingers into the little golden strings keeping the hakama up. “We’ve beat this particular boss several dozen times already, Kakashi. It’s nothing new.”

“Oh? So no victory kiss for me then?”

Obito mumbled something unintelligible, his face turning red again.

“What’s that?”

“I said I guess you can have a kiss anyway,” Obito repeated. Kakashi grinned, tugged his scarf down, and pressed his lips to Obito’s.

The kiss turned deeper and filthier and Obito’s hands wandered further and further.

“I think I do like this new outfit,” Obito admitted. “Even if I’m absolutely going to die from being distracted by the vee of your hips if I try to fight beside you dressed like this.” He ran his thumbs over the spot in question and Kakashi made a little sound of want.

Rin emitted some kind of high-pitched squeaking sound. There was a cacophonous clatter of metal meeting stone, and they broke apart to stare at her.

She was lying on her back like a turtle flipped onto its shell, trying in vain to stand again.

“Help,” she wheezed. “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”

“Get Life Alert and fuck off, you useless lesbian,” Obito scowled.

“This is how the strongest guild’s so-called undefeated clearing team dies,” Kakashi sighed, detaching himself from Obito to help Rin off the floor. “Defeated by stereotypical fantasy armor.”

**Author's Note:**

> It gives +10 to [Stamina]. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> Also. Isobu is a turtle. So Rin flipped over laughing in her tin can is hilarious. Laugh with me please.
> 
> [ Rin, but with a shield instead ](https://pin.it/kdvs74mitu57ai)  
> [ Obito, but add a long swishy coat ](https://pin.it/wydshxl2fbdf75)  
> [ Kakashi’s first outfit, but add a huge scarf ](https://pin.it/xdpispfjgjfuv2)  
> [ Kakashi’s new outfit, but make it more Extra™ ](https://pin.it/rfepxhf2zrkubn)
> 
> My thanks to [ paperprincess ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperprincess/) for the “useless lesbian” line. ILY <3
> 
> If you enjoyed this, maybe leave me a comment ;)
> 
> And hey! If you like KakaObi, consider joining the [ KakaObi Thots Discord Server! ](https://discord.gg/kBYs37k) They’re the ones who hosted the challenge week, and the server is full of so many wonderful people, all creating excellent content for the ship.
> 
> If you just want to chill and talk to people about Naruto in general, I mod a server with Dragonpyre for Naruto fans and content creators. It’s small, but full of fun people! Here’s the [ link! ](https://discord.gg/ss4cMkZ)


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